Tuesday, March 24, 2009

HOLY SHIZ it's Tori Amos

So I get word that Tori Amos is performing at SXSW in Austin to promote her new album.  "HOLY SHIZ" is the first thing that comes to my head.  Her music is what inspired me to start playing the piano in the first place so I had to get into the show.  I kept saying to myself I'm going to see Tori Amos, I'm going to see Tori Amos.  As a believer in the Law of Attraction, randomly, an all-expense paid VIP badge lands in my lap.  I think to myself "HOLY SHIZ."  It's gonna happen.  I'm gonna get to see her show.  

So, Rhiannon, my BFF, and I decided to take a couple of days off of work to head down to the festival.  Never been to one before, we were worried about Rhiannon getting into the show without a badge.  But that didn't stop us from going.  We knew deep down that as long as we made it to the festival, we would have a great time.  I mean, wherever we go, we always have a good time together. :)  We arrive at lunch time and we immediately go to the venue where Tori was playing.  I see a few people camping out and I assume they are die-hard Tori fans.  I go to speak with them to ask them some questions on what to expect, etc.  They had pre-packed all their meals for the day and were ready to wait.  They, like Rhiannon, had no credentials and hoped that the venue would open up some tickets for the general public.  We get the idea that we should probably wait in line too.  We headed to Shady Grove on Barton Springs to grab lunch.  I was reluctant because Rhi said they have a "Veggie Menu."  I immediately think to myself, "UH OH...nothing but tree-huggin' hippies."  We get a primo spot on the patio.  We share chips and queso and indulge in some fantastic beverages.  I roll my sleeves up above my shoulders and for the first time this season, my arms feel the warm sun.  In that moment, I realized what a great time we were going to have.  

We check into the hotel, rest and get cleaned up.  La Zona Rosa was our destination for the evening.  We find great parking and make our way to the venue.  

We notice there are already a few people gathering outside but only a few have SXSW credentials.  We are approached by "DOR," short for Dorothy.  We learn that Dorothy is the ring leader of Tori's biggest fans in which Rhi and I named, the "TerriTORIals."  More on that in a second.  Dorothy, Dorothy. She calls the shots and the order in the line.  After introductions, she begins to tell me that I'm fourth in line and that's when I notice something ain't right.  She's shaky, moving a quarter of an inch to the left, then to the right.  She's drunk.  It's 3:00 in the afternoon, Tori goes on at 10:00 and she's drunk.  "HOLY SHIZ" I think to myself.  Rhi and I share a chuckle. 

Rhi and I walk around to check things out.  Fortunately, there was a convenient grocery store across from the venue.  We stocked up on last minute snacks, water and watch the rest of the "TerriTORIals" begin to gather.  I start to notice something very odd to me.  I begin to recognize a lot of the faces of the "TerriTORIals." At home, I have a DVD of one of Tori's concerts.  At the beginning of the DVD is an intro where the camera crew interviews some of Tori's fans.  They talk about how this is their 127th show.  Some had even reach 300 shows.  Fascinating, because here they stand before me.  They are all connected.  They are all friends. And they all meet up at Tori Amos concerts.  Rhi and I start to put the pieces together.  These people are crazy.

After a very long, hot and annoying wait, the doors open.  I'm second in the door.  I claim front row, middle.  Motivated to stay put for the three bands before Tori, I tell myself, NO PEE BREAKS, NO DRINK BREAKS!  If I moved, my space would be lost.  This concert was Universal's Showcase.  So all bands are signed and their songs are becoming mainstream.  Translation - all talent was legit.  The three hours flew by.  I managed to overcome the fighting, the bitching, and the crying of the "TerriTORIals." All of them are bitter, clawing their way to the front.  Luckily, the guy next to me, a rocker from Chicago, I had an alliance with.  Elbow to elbow no matter what.  

Then comes Perez Hilton.  He's also a Tori fan and got the privilege to introduce her.  Tons of press.  This is Tori's first show in months so everyone is trying to get the best shot.  Perez says, "Here she is, one of the most influential artists of all time.  Ladies and gentlemen, Tori Amos." "HOLY SHIZ" as my heart pounds.  

She walks onto the stage. Bright red hair.  Beautiful makeup.  She's angelic.  Peaceful and confident.  I'm in the front row.  I can see her fingernails.  I can see the movement of her fingers and for a moment I get lost looking at her hands.  Getting a close-up view of what it takes to play her music.  I'm taking picture and video the entire time.  She plays about nine songs and the packed house is eating it up.  A few tear-jerk moments in Cloud on My Tongue and Silent All These Years.  She finishes her set and spreads love throughout the venue by waving goodbye and placing her hands across her heart.  The show is over.  I tell the crew striking the stage, "throw me the set list." The stage hand pulls up the set list, closes his eyes and tosses the piece of paper into the crowd.  Just before it is tossed.  I get a good look at that piece of paper.  I feel that piece of paper.  I visualize that paper in my hand.  However, I wasn't near where he was about to throw it.  As the set list is tossed, my hand stretches out.  The paper catches a pocket of air and shuffles it to the left and I snatch that paper out of the sky.  "HOLY SHIZ!" It worked.  Again.  The Law of Attraction.  I clumsy get the paper into my pocket to ensure no one can get it.  And I notice the crowd is dissipating.

I think to myself, "OK Jeff, this is her first show in several months.  It's a very intimate setting.  If there's ever a chance to meet her, this is it."  Rhi and I follow the TerriTORIals to the back.  God love Rhi.  She's so patient.  We've been on our feet for hours, we can't even feel our knees.  We wait in the back of the venue hoping to catch a glimpse.  What seemed like an hour, she comes out.  There is a hush through the crowd.  No yelling.  No screaming fans.  It's peaceful.  She seems humbled. I hold the set list out that I caught, in hopes she'll see it and perhaps sign it.  She signs the lanyard of the guy next to me.  I visualize her coming to me.  I visualize an autograph.  I see her look at the set list.  She recognizes it and turns to me.  "What's your name?" she says.  "I'm Jeff.  This is my first experience on the front row of one of your concerts."  She shakes my hand and recognizes the set list. "Oh, you got it.  You got the set list."  I ask her to sign.  She asks someone for a pen and signs, "To Jeff, Love Tori Amos."  "So nice to finally meet you," I say.  "Would you mind taking a picture with me?"  "Not at all," she replies.  Rhiannon takes our picture.  "HOLY SHIZ!!!!!!!"  Did that just happen?  Did I tell her she was my inspiration?  Did I say thank you?  I collapse into Rhi.  I feel the moment.  I feel the sensation of meeting someone who inspires you.  I'm alive.  Buzzing.  Law of Attraction on my mind.  I remember posting to my Facebook the day before, "I'm heading to SXSW to see Tori Amos.  My goal is to meet her." Around midnight, I realize, I did it.  I met my goal.  I did exactly what I said I was going to do.  I think to myself, "I'm one pretty cool guy."  I begin to regain confidence.  I see myself as others see myself.  I am getting back to who I was.  Always following my heart and letting fate to the rest.  I gain valuable momentum.  A natural high.  I think to myself what else can the Law of Attraction do for me?  I self-reflect and Rhi comforts my shock.  
After a nice brunch at Magnolia Cafe on SoCo, Rhi and I head home.  Just north of Austin, I turn on the radio.  Not familiar with the stations, I press the scan button.  I hear a brief riff on the piano.  It's TORI!  She's playing a live, day show for the radio.  Playing songs from the night before along with some of my favorites.  1,000 Oceans.  Very emotional.  My eyes let the tears go.  Rhi's hand on my shoulder.  We listened to speak about the music and what's next to come.  By this point, we're almost to Temple and the signal is fading.  She closes with Silent All These Years. Last seconds of the song, the signal is lost.  I melt in my Jetta.  A perfect ending to a perfect trip.  I am thankful for the experience and will cherish it for the rest of my life.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Lesbian Cop and Ranch Dressing

On the way to work, I noticed an Addison Police car parallel to me, I looked over at the officer and noticed it was a female.  I went about my business and made my left turn.  Seconds later, I see her lights in my rear-view mirror.  I pull over into the first parking lot I can turn into and I realize that it sits right next to Beltline Road, so all my coworkers that drive by can see me.  Fantastic. 

I turn off my car, roll down the window and she starts eyeing the backseat, looking around for God knows what.  She asks me, "Do you know why I'm pulling you over?"  As I look up with my reply, "You want my number??"  I notice she's a lesbian.  So, clearly she didn't think it was funny. I was dying with laughter on the inside thinking, 'today is the day I go to jail.'  

She smiled at me though.  I smiled back.  She asked for my DL and insurance card and asks, "Why haven't you taken care of this?  It's several months expired."  I responded with, "oopsies."  :)  Ok, I kid.  In all seriousness, I said, "well, there's the economy, I'm in the middle of a divorce and I've been focusing on moving so it's been really complicated lately."  She obviously didn't think that was a good enough reason, so she gives me a citation and asks if I have any questions.  Looking back I should've asked, "Geesh, thatsh a fabuloush badge you have, shay...can I interestsh you in shome fabuloush ranch dresshing?"

We all know lesbians love their ranch dressing.  And talk with a manly lisp.


Sunday, March 8, 2009

Dog Sitting

Ok, so...it's been a few weeks since I've blogged.  But this ones gonna be goooood.  

I'll start with this...I'm just days away from moving out, the house is full of boxes and everything is in disarray.  So, John asks me to dog sit while he's off traveling the world.  Seeing that I have never had a dog before, I was hesitant.  But somehow I managed to get myself involved with this precious tard of a dog who sits before me now.  

My first day with Mason could've been my last.  As I let Mason outside for his routine potty break, I decided to fix myself some cereal and kick back in the recliner.  I accidentally fell asleep with Mason outside.  I awoke to the sound of water.  As I looked back through the back door, I noticed there were ripples in the pool but no sign of Mason.  As I sat up in the recliner, I see Mason struggling in the deep end.  I immediately panicked and bolted out the door with my blanket still wrapped around me.  Without second thought, I was diving head first, clothes and all.  As I got to the cold and scared Mason, I ushered him to the side and out of the pool.  He just looked at me as if he was ready to play.  Then I experienced a reality check.  I asked myself, did that just happen?  I went from a peaceful, resting moment to an adrenaline rush filled with fast-paced fear.  My first concern was how long had he been in there?  Did he swallow water?  I think I was in more shock than he was.  And with all the pollen falling off the trees, the pool is covered in pollen seeds.  So, on top of having to dry Mason off, I had to pick pollen seeds out of his coat and out of my hair.  Joy.

This along with the stress of moving and moving on, I was about ready for a vodka martini.  A couple of us got together and headed out to Jack's Backyard.  I have to admit, I was concerned about the location but the place is actually a lot of fun with a very cool vibe.  Outdoor concerts and big garage doors that open to the bar.  First martini in, I recognize a familiar face.  It was my Client, Oytun.  Small world.  It was good to see him out and about.  

Two martinis in, we start meeting people.  One in particular, Chase.  Oh Chase, you are so not straight.  But yet, you bought my non-lesbian friend drinks thinking you were gonna get some play.  Although you were a greek adonis, you brought your ex-girlfriend's BF to the bar.  Not smart.  But the shot you bought us was horrible but you were eye candy, so we're even. :)

Three martinis in, things start getting funnier and Fuel City Tacos sound like a necessity.  The band closed, the crowd cleared and all five of us were heading to "Fuel City....CITY OF FUEL!!!!"  We destroyed about 12 tacos and half of them ended up on the hood of my car, thanks Megan.  

After our attack on Fuel City, we went dancing.  Goo.  Not smart.  Overall, my experience last night was so much fun.  I have such great friends and we all get along so great.  I can't wait for our camping trip in two weeks.  I'm sure there will be a lot of great times and great stories awaiting us.  God and family knows I could use more of that.  

Now, let me tell you what happened today...I wasn't feeling well due to the dancing, martinis and tacos.  So, I slept in a bit.  :)  I got dressed (ok when I say I got dressed, I mean, I threw on my underwear from the night before and put on a shirt.  Decided to walk Mason.  As I was closing the front door, I thought to myself, "oh crap, I just locked myself out."  There I was with an unruly animal on a old fashion leash, not the retractable kind.  No way in the house so my mind started racing.  Rang a few doors, no one home.  Do I have to walk to a pay phone?  Oh Lord.  Finally, I see a family down the street, so I ask them if I can borrow their phone.  I call my folks because I no longer have Jesse's number and besides he was too busy being a douche anyway.  I had to wait for my parents to drive from Grand Prairie to let me in.  So, Mason and I popped a squat in the front yard.  We got a lot accomplished.  He mastered lay down, stay and squirrel chasing.  I'm starting to love that dog.  

Thursday, February 19, 2009

I think I'm supposed to go to SXSW

Yesterday I learned that my favorite artist, Tori Amos, is headlining one of the big venues at SXSW this year.  Seeing that she doesn't come to Texas a whole lot, I'm gonna do everything in my power to get in the show.  Also, I learned this morning that one of my accounts at the agency is nominated for best motion graphics in the SXSW Web Awards.  We're up against some great sites from great agencies.  I think the Universe is trying to get me to the festival.  Road trip!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Martinis

Today I had a super-long meeting client-side that put me into a tizzy.  When I came back to the office, I just kept developing more and more anxiety.  Not only the Client but the search for a new place to live has got me spinnin'.  So, to ease the anxiety, I made myself 3 wedding cake martinis and played a game of foosball.  I'm feeling better.  God, I love Firehouse.  www.fhdallas.com

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The best tacos in Texas

Fuel City in Downtown Dallas off Industrial.  Ranked as best place to get tacos by Texas Monthly.  No seating, you'll have to eat off the hood of your car. Make sure not to park down-wind of the longhorns.  It's an adventure. Google Map that shit. 

What will happen next?

Do you ever feel like life has thrown so many curve balls at you that you just think to yourself, what next?  If you answered yes, START A BLOG. :)  

I always ask in interviews, "what do you think you'll be doing 5 years from now?"  And people usually answer with the most fake answer ever.  If someone where to ask me that today, I would say, "Not sure about that. How about the next 5 days?"  I guess that's bad but unfortunately life isn't linear.  And I'm proud to say that my life is not linear.  Actually, I'm proud and bitter.  Bitter in that I wish I could live a life that wasn't so active, connected and a go-go.  However, it keeps me on my toes and honestly, I'd be bored if I lived in Coppell. 

So here I stand asking the question, what will happen next?  I'm about to turn a very large page in my life and along with that comes doubt, fear, anger, confusion and a period of reflection.  I begin to replay all the good memories and I wonder where we went wrong.  I can tell that these reflections are getting stronger and stronger as the move out day gets closer.  And on the other hand, with this page-turning comes hope, optimism, growth and change.  As I enter my thirties, these qualities sound much more attractive. Hence, the reason for leaving.   But what will happen next?  Will moving on work?  Will letting go heal?  Will I stay in Dallas?  Or will I have an early mid-life crisis and self-destruct?  God, let's hope not.  A gay in a mid-life crisis isn't pretty. 

All I know is that I don't know what will happen. So, I'm going to continue to listen to my intuition.  It has never done me wrong.  It has gotten me this far and hey, I've met Ryan Seacrest so I must be doing something right.