Lesbian Cop and Ranch Dressing

On the way to work, I noticed an Addison Police car parallel to me, I looked over at the officer and noticed it was a female.  I went about my business and made my left turn.  Seconds later, I see her lights in my rear-view mirror.  I pull over into the first parking lot I can turn into and I realize that it sits right next to Beltline Road, so all my coworkers that drive by can see me.  Fantastic. 

I turn off my car, roll down the window and she starts eyeing the backseat, looking around for God knows what.  She asks me, "Do you know why I'm pulling you over?"  As I look up with my reply, "You want my number??"  I notice she's a lesbian.  So, clearly she didn't think it was funny. I was dying with laughter on the inside thinking, 'today is the day I go to jail.'  

She smiled at me though.  I smiled back.  She asked for my DL and insurance card and asks, "Why haven't you taken care of this?  It's several months expired."  I responded with, "oopsies."  :)  Ok, I kid.  In all seriousness, I said, "well, there's the economy, I'm in the middle of a divorce and I've been focusing on moving so it's been really complicated lately."  She obviously didn't think that was a good enough reason, so she gives me a citation and asks if I have any questions.  Looking back I should've asked, "Geesh, thatsh a fabuloush badge you have, shay...can I interestsh you in shome fabuloush ranch dresshing?"

We all know lesbians love their ranch dressing.  And talk with a manly lisp.